What is life like overseas?
BY STACEY-ROY DEVOY
T-minus a dozen or so weeks before me and my fiancee Desmond take flight into a new life together, and boy do I hope they have air sickness bags on the flight!
My good friend Phill assures me these pre-flight jitters I’m having (that I like to compare to sea sickness) are completely normal for expats in waiting. There’s a sick sense of brotherhood in knowing that everyone has had this stomach crunching, fidgeting of the hands, feel like you’re going to either through up or pass out, before me. I just have one question: How did you deal with it?
Personally, my wedding plans and an active job have kept me, so far, from worrying into the wee hours of the night, but these distractions that hold back my nervousness won’t last. I have tried talking it out with Desmond, my mother, my friends and even my dog (Neiko). I can’t describe my disappointment when these fireside chats didn’t dissolve the brick in my chest. For some strange reason I was certain that by simply talking it out it would get out of my system, but so much for that happening.
This led me to plan B. I turned to other distractions of every sort. I have tried everything from working every night, to day-long shopping excursions, to multiple walks, but nothing has stopped the thoughts from whirling in my head. These thoughts really do fly around in there. It feels like they are racing continuously and getting faster with every lap.
Will my future employers like me and my style of teaching? Will me and Desmond be able to adjust to a new life so far away? Finally, will all of this end up with a wonderful wedding in 2007? A great start for me and Desmond or financial ruin? It’s a lot to think about, and the worst part about thinking about it is that the answers are never any closer despite the effort.
My exhaustion from thought has resulted in a strong desire to sign a contract so that something is stable once again. When you think about it, this is the real danger. Here we are in limbo, so frustrated with the process that our standards can sometimes become eroded.
Speaking of eroded, some well-meaning friends have told me about Asian women’s desire for North American men. To say this has led into some interesting conversations between me and my future husband defines the word ‘understatement’. Okay, I get that girls want to be with these guys, but I don’t buy that men can say no and walk away! Ultimately, I feel that if someone is set on being faithful, nothing in the world can deter them. If it happens that he cannot be faithful then I’d rather know now then after a $15, 000 wedding and likely a similar cost for divorce.
It’s almost time to board that flight and even though I am leaving a career behind (temporarily) I’m still looking forward to the journey with excitement, sick bag and all. iT!
Stacey Roy is a newspaper journalist in Ottawa. Soon she and her future husband, Desmond, will move to China to work overseas. Stacey is also a Copy Editor for The Weekly Wanderer.
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