Love In A Foreign Country (PART 3)

Differences in culture can make overseas relationships difficult–particularly with communication.

BY PAUL WADE

Overseas dating is definitely something to experience. If you’re with the person for a long period of time, you learn different kinds of communication. More importantly, you learn how to co-exist with someone from a different culture. It’s difficult, but well worth it.

Felicia, a native of Taiwan, and I became an item three months after I arrived from Canada. We had a lot in common–amazing conversation, passionate about travel, and languages. She knew Chinese, Taiwanese and English. She knew English fluently. You could tell she wasn’t a native of English, but we could communicate.

Communication was difficult sometimes. She would try to say things in English, but get frustrated because she couldn’t say what she wanted to say. I just told her to tell me in Chinese–She would just speed through her words. Me, I would sit there nodding my head not understanding a single word. She told me in English later. Later, I found out she did the same to me when I became a speedy chatterbox.

At three months, marriage was brought up. Many citizens in Taiwan find people to marry, but in the west, that mentality isn’t the same. I was hesitant not because of culture, but because she wanted to make something permanent while I was in transition mode–generally, when you’re overseas, you’re not planning the rest of your life. I told Felicia that it was a little too soon, but I was flattered.

Marriage is still a very big thing in Taiwan. Usually, Taiwanese girls will not give introductions until they are in a very serious relationship. This means marriage or future intention of marriage. Parents expect that upon introduction to the boyfriend that this is ‘the one’ or long time consideration of ‘the one’. Sometimes parents will also pressure the child for marriage shortly thereafter which leaves many boyfriends and girlfriends a secret. The initial introduction is also done for parental approval. If parents do not approve then the relationship becomes in question. This of course, depends on the family, as many of these are traditional Taiwanese values. As time went on, Felicia and I became serious about our talks.

We became serious at six months. I was to give her a promise ring, if I got to meet her family. This never happened and I never gave her the ring. She was upset, but I was adamant. No family, no ring. The shoe was clearly on the other foot now.