Broken Hearts Abroad

BY PHILL FELTHAM

Sometimes dating abroad becomes a long distance relationship. Some of those relationships turn into marriage while others turn into long distance tragedies. Here are some questions I’m often asked, along with some words that may or may not help you.

Did you date overseas?
I did. I had a relationship for almost two years with this wonderful Taiwanese woman.

Why did you leave to return to Canada?
An ill family member was the first reason. The second reason was that my time overseas was over.

The only thing keeping me in Taiwan was my relationship and unfortunately for me to say, it just wasn’t enough to keep me there. My life was put on hold in Canada, and the way I saw, I couldn’t put it off any longer.

Why did you two break up?
This is a very hard question. Long distance just didn’t work for us. Plus, there’s a time in a relationship where the next step must be taken and from a very personal standpoint, it just wasn’t there.

Long distance relationships don’t work?
Many times they don’t. Long distance relationships can often make you forget your partner’s voice, touch and even the good times. Now take it, long distance is not the only reason why my relationship ended, but it did make me put things in perspective. If you choose to stay in a long distance relationship, be sure that both of you are on the same page.

Would you leave another country for that partner?
This has to be one of the greatest character-testing questions I’ve ever been asked. In my experience, I’ve seen many couples who date abroad end because they couldn’t in good conscious leave their country. I just couldn’t say yes.

Am I a bad person if I think ‘no’?
I thought I was a bad person because my answer was always no! This doesn’t make you a bad person. To this day, I still try to tell myself that! It’s easier to read than believe. One thing it does though is put things in perspective for you.

I’m going to avoid dating abroad.
That’s a little stupid. My greatest experiences were obtained from dating someone from another country. That’s where a lot of my motivation to travel came from. My eyes were opened because my partner with the worldly perspective showed me the door.

Then avoid serious relationships?
Depends on the person. I don’t think you can control who you fall in love with nor can you control the tempo of a relationship. However, if you keep a leaving date in mind that is mutual for the both of you, then hurt should be minimal.

I won’t be hurt if I date abroad!
Bullshit! You will be hurt. Just realize that if you choose to date abroad, there’s always feelings to consider. You’re not impervious to pain and neither is your partner. Just think about that when you ask for that phone number! IT!