Expat preps his journey home after two years abroad.
BY PHILL FELTHAM
Airplane landing (CMT GmbH).
It’s almost time to go home. Almost two years abroad has changed me into a completely different person.
Positively or Negatively? I see both but I think that some time home will give me a clearer perspective on my current situation.
When you’re away from home you get homesick, when you return home you reminicse on your memories fondly. My time overseas wasn’t what I expected. I had hoped to travel around many countries and gain tons of new experience.
My idea to live overseas was a two year old idea (since 2001), but a variety of reasons kept me from buying the initial plane ticket. School, first job, money and good old fashioned fear were among some of the contributing factors.
Now after two years, I can say I’m a ‘vagabond satisfied!’
But almost two years away from home eventually takes its toll. Some friends have returned home after their time away while others have moved to other countries. Others, who have spent five or six years in Taiwan are married with children. How could they do it? Some have fluency in Chinese, others don’t.
Some of us can make a life abroad, getting married and spending long amounts of time away from their families. Others simply have family at home. Thus my vacation from the old life comes to an end.
This decision wasn’t easy. For the past two years, I’ve been in a serious relationship with a girl from Taiwan. She’s one of the most amazing women I’ve ever met. We will continue our relationship long distance after my return to Canada.
My relationship extended my stay in Taiwan another year and it might have been extended further if not for an e-mail from my folks that tossed me to the other side of the room.
The dreaded e-mail indicated recent tragedies that occurred within the family. My throat tightened and my heart sank to my stomach. Immediately, the decision I’d put off for so long had to be made.
There were other factors too. Language barriers despite the Chinese lessons, humid weather, harsh pollution and a huge population all made home look more tantalizing.
Now don’t let this grim picture be the official word on Taiwan. It’s not. Every expat is different. It just depends on how the traveler chooses to cope with them. Community.com.tw is a great website for those with culture shock problems.
The two greatest factors in my choice to go home were homesickness and the lack of a career break. English teaching was a job to pay the bills while I traveled Asia. In January, it turned to “I’ll find a journalism job while I tour Asia, awaiting the time my girlfriend and I move back to Canada to get married.” In the opening months of my second year, I applied to all sorts of journalism jobs. My qualifications were sound but I lacked the ability to speak Chinese. After awhile, I gave up on the hopes of full-time work and started to freelance for many of Taiwan’s English speaking magazines.
Another factor was the buxiban (cram schools) I was working for. The boss was great but being there full-time made me miserable. All the while, I was asking why. I recently left that job and discovered that if I wanted to work full-time I would have stayed in Canada. It turns out I was trying to live a normal life in Taiwan.
What made me happy? Traveling around Asia, my girlfriend, freelance travel writing in Taiwan and other personal goals I had met. It’s funny because what made me happy were the very goals I planned to meet before I moved to Taiwan.
Homesickness also jumps on you like wild fire if you have a tough time adjusting to the culture. You curse the others that are like you and crave the days of normality. Sometimes other foreigners stare at you saying, “What are you doing here?” Pretty powerful poison. What’s the cure?
Focus. Stay focused on what you went abroad to do. If you came to travel, then do that. If you naturally like your chosen habitat, meet the girl of your dreams and choose to stay where you are, then do that with no regrets.
If you live abroad, don’t run. My ESL teacher told me something that sticks with me to this day, “Some people leave their country to escape their personal problems. They follow you and the feelings become worse.” It’s true. iT!
Phill Feltham is a freelance journalist teaching English in Taiwan. Phill is also the Publisher and Editor-In-Chief of The Weekly Wanderer.
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